


Worthy of You

by Marmoniel



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst, Based off a GTA video, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-18 04:29:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11866725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marmoniel/pseuds/Marmoniel
Summary: Ryan sees Jeremy winding up his punch, and keeps himself still.“I deserve it,” he says."Yeah," says Jeremy, "You do."





	Worthy of You

**Author's Note:**

> The playlist for this is LearnCoach videos bc i have school exams coming up and need to study for physics

Ryan sees Jeremy winding up his punch, and keeps himself still.

“I deserve it,” he says, in what could be mistaken as a light-hearted tone. But Jeremy knows that his words contain his guilt, the promise of  _ ohgodI’msosorryI’llneverletyoudownagainImessedup _ , and apologies in his eyes. As Ryan says those words, he can see something pass over Jeremy’s face – sorrow perhaps.

The punch lands, and Ryan staggers back onto the road, his lip split and his face already bruising, his hand automatically coming up to cup his injuries. He can taste the blood in his mouth, and his face turns hot from the hit. Rain drips from the end of his nose, and his eyes prickle with the unfamiliar feeling of tears, but whether it was from pain or emotion, he doesn't know.

Jeremy’s face contorts in pain, as if hurting Ryan hurts him too. But Ryan can't see any regret on his face, only stubbornness and hurt. It makes him miss the wide smile that lights up Jeremy’s face when he’s drunk and over-friendly, Jeremy’s crinkled eyes when he laughs at Ryan’s jokes or Gavin’s antics, or the soft smile that only Ryan gets to see when they have only each other and the door to the outside world shut, and it’s just them, it’s only ever them, and there’s nothing else. It makes him miss their whispered promises of  _ I’ll protect you, you’re mine and I’m yours, nothing can break us. _

“Yeah, you do.” Jeremy turns and walks away, with Ryan’s blood on his knuckles, leaving him standing in the rain, bruised, looking after him, regretting what he’d done, but not knowing how to make it any better.

 

Life resumes, except the easy flowing relationship that the two of them had once had was strained. Ryan avoids Jeremy, and Jeremy avoids Ryan. Spaces they both occupy become tense, with Jeremy sniping at Ryan, and the latter just taking it, staying silent. 

They sit opposite ends of the room from each other, and the free time they used to spend together is now spent cleaning weapons, on their phones, or trying to sit as far away from the other during their games of Rainbow Six.

 

"Are you -- Is Jeremy the guy with the chopper?" Geoff says, as they play GTA.

"Yeah, I'm the guy!"

"I thought Ryan was gonna be the guy."

"... Uh, no, fuck him, I'm the guy."

"Alright, dude, christ."

 

"Jeremy, let Ryan drive!"

"... no."

 

"Jeremy, why'd you shoot him, we had the game all set up!"

 

The others in the crew begin to notice how Jeremy keeps going out of his way to insult or piss off Ryan. 

“What’s up with you and Lil J?” Gavin asks, as he walks into the kitchen, one morning, yawning. “Didn’t you guys just do a job together?”

“Uh, don’t worry about it.” Ryan says as he picks up a diet coke from the fridge after doing an all-nighter, and Gavin shoots him a curious look.

“I just… I took a shot I shouldn’t have.” Ryan rubs a hand over his face. “And it’s fucked everything up.”

“Is that why I found Jeremy bleeding in the bathroom the other day?” Gavin says.

“What? Is he ok?” Ryan says, vaguely panicked.

“Besides the blood, you mean?” and Ryan glowers at Gavin. “I stitched him up, he’s fine.”

Ryan knows the wound wasn’t fatal, just bloody and painful. He knows Jeremy will be fine soon enough, as he’s a quick healer, but knowing how he got the wound makes Ryan's chest swell up with a burning feeling.

‘There wasn't any other way.' Ryan thinks unconvincingly to himself. 'There wasn't another shot. It was this or death.'

 

After several weeks of tension between Ryan and Jeremy, thick enough to cut with a chainsaw, Geoff calls the crew into the heist room, and tells them all that they have to take down a string of warehouses that their rival gang owns.

"These fuckers think they can just take what's ours. Now we get to show them that they can't." He smiles a shark grin. "Michael, Jack and Gavin, you'll be on keeping them off our backs, me, Ryan, and Jeremy will go in, and set ‘em all on fire." 

Ryan tenses as he hears Geoff's words. Ryan and Jeremy having to work together again. Even though the last time they did, Ryan fucked up.

"Uh, Geoff, maybe we should do Lads and Gents instead?" Ryan asks, and sees a hurt look briefly flash across Jeremy's face, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Jeremy is safe.

Geoff looks at Ryan as though he knows all his secrets, and simply says, "Nah. Now everyone get a good sleep, 'cuz we're doing this early tomorrow morning." Like most of their plans, it's halfheartedly planned, with all the preparation done the day before, but somehow they always make it out, mostly unharmed and uninjured. 

So, it's decided. They draw up their battle plans, Jack and Gavin go out to secure a get-away vehicle that can hold all six of them, and somehow Ryan and Jeremy are the only two people left in the heist room. 

"So..." Jeremy says, breaking the tense silence.

Ryan looks at him. 

"Let's just do the fucking job, alright? I don't give a fuck what you do, just don't get in my way."

Ryan clenches his jaw but nods. He just doesn't want everything to happen all over again. He's had enough of fucking things up.

Jeremy hesitates for a second, but walks out of the room, once again leaving Ryan behind.

 

His neck in a chokehold, and a gun at his head, Jeremy struggles. 

The warehouse is loud and the man's words are echoing with the weight of the world.

" _ You gotta let me go, or I'll shoot him."  _

Ryan levels his gun at the man's head. The man places Jeremy right in front of his body, and his head. There's no shot, he can't get a fucking shot, and the guy's got Jeremy, a gun to his head, but Ryan can't get a fucking shot.

The place smells of blood and piss, smoke and sweat. Ryan takes a deep breath of the dirty air to stop his hands shaking. The Vagabond won't be broken and beaten by a fucking nobody.

He aims the gun again, the world slowing down around him.  A loud bang causes more echoing in the dimly lit room, a perfect shot. Right into Jeremy's forehead, a perfect circle. An eclipse of blood, a ring of red.

The man falls, a bullet wound in his head as well, and Jeremy's corpse falls too, with a quieter thud than he deserves. For Jeremy, the world should end with a huge bang, everyone yelling out, a thunderous boom echoing, but there's only quiet.

Only quiet, and no Jeremy. No more gentle smiles, no more Battle Buddies, no more inside jokes shared with a smile, no more anything. 

 

Ryan wakes gradually, the dream blurry in his mind, sleep in his eyes.

'That's not what happened.' He firmly says to himself. 'It was only the leg. Jeremy's alive.'

 

The next morning dawns bright, and the crew has their body armour on, and the get-away vehicles prepared. Ear comms in, ammo full, safety's on.

Jeremy, Ryan, and Geoff strut into the building as though they haven't a care in the world. They want them to know that they're there. To know who it was that ruined them. After they've killed everyone who dared to defy their rule, they will spread the word that the Fakes were here, and the Fakes do not let enemies die softly. 

The first warehouse they search is devoid of life besides them, so they lay the trail of gasoline from the jerry cans they brought with them, and cover as much as they can, leaving behind the empty cans. 

The second only has the few guys, so they murder them with extreme prejudice and move onto the third, where they're betting is the majority of the gang's men.

They enter the third, and immediately find out that they were right. Men litter the entranceway and they can see several on the floor of the warehouse, as well as up a level. A smoke grenade goes out and gunshots ring out and echo, causing them to not hear the footsteps of a man on their left. He launches a punch into Geoff's stomach before Jeremy puts a knife in his throat from behind. 

"I'll cover you both," Geoff says, "get up to that second level. That's where our guy told us the leader will be."

Jeremy and Ryan look at each other, and they can both tell that the other doesn't want to do it, but won't refuse an order from their leader while they're in the middle of a job. 

They run down the hallway with Geoff's bullets keeping the bad guys down, and the two of them shoot as they pass. As they get into cover, Geoff moves up behind them. As a team, they take out most of the guys downstairs. 

"I'll take the rest of these guys out," Geoff says, reloading his gun, "you two go sort out your shit upstairs."

With a grimace, Jeremy goes up the stairs, leaving Ryan to follow him. 

They take out several more guys, because even though there may be some tension personally, they are still a well oiled killing machine, capable of taking out far too many men, especially police officers. When one of them needs to reload, the other has their back. When one of them walks forward, the other is watching their backs. They call out enemies, with short sentences that they've had worked out for years. 

Their footsteps are muffled on the dirty ground, and dust flies up around their feet and blood flavours the air.Ryan listens out for breathing or footsteps other than their own, but can't hear any. A sturdy looking door lays in front of them, but it opens, unlocked.

Ryan walks in first, leaving Jeremy to guard his back, and looks around, not seeing anybody. He relaxes, his gun pointing at the ground. He hears Jeremy start to say something, when something cold presses against the side of his head, and an arm circles his neck. He recognises the barrel of a gun to his head.

His body tenses and goes cold, and he can hear the blood rushing in his ears. He drops his gun and raises his hands out palms out in front of him. 

The man turns him around, with the gun pushing into the side of his head. Ryan can see Jeremy, his face hard, his gun unwavering. Pointing at the guy, only it's also pointing at Ryan.

Ryan can see what will happen as if it was happening right in front of him.

Jeremy will take the shot, because that's what Ryan did. That's what Ryan did, and it's only fair that Jeremy does it too. 

Ryan should close his eyes and wait for the pain to come. Instead he looks Jeremy in the eye, makes sure he's looking, and nods. Letting him know  _ it's okay, I'm so sorry.  _

Only then does he shut his eyes and wait for the shot. His body tenses up further, and he breathes in. And out. And in. And out.

He waits. And breathes some more.

The shot he's expecting doesn't come.

Ryan opens his eyes and sees Jeremy still standing there with his gun still pointing at him. 

'He's not going to do it. He's not going to shoot.' Ryan thinks.

The man with the gun laughs and opens his mouth. It's all Ryan needs.

"You coward, you can't even sho--" He cuts off as Ryan hits him in the wrist then turns and slams his knee into the guy's groin. He picks up the gun and shoots him in the head, before turning to Jeremy.

"Oh my god, you idiot, you should have just taken the shot."

"I couldn't," Jeremy says, "Sorry."

"You're apologising for not shooting me?"

In the aftermath, as the adrenaline leaves his body, Ryan feels himself warming up from the ice that chilled his body as the gun was pointing at his head.

He can see Jeremy's hands start to shake, as they do when the danger's over. Ryan walks over and grabs Jeremy's shaking hands in his own more calloused ones.

"This won't make up for it, but I'm sorry for shooting you in the leg."

Jeremy huffs out an incredulous laugh.

"Shut up."

"Okay, love."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretending to ignore just how devastating a bullet to the leg actually is.  
> Shoutout to my girlfriend for helping me edit <3
> 
> (also comments and kudos fuel me, please)


End file.
